Brigitta van Bilderbeek

Interior Castle

A private library

"I began to think of the soul as if it were a castle made of a single diamond, in which there are many rooms."

Teresa of Ávila, 1577

The library shelf and open notebook
The shelf where the essays begin

I

Memory · Architecture

On Rooms That Do Not Exist

The rooms I paint most often are the ones I have never stood in. Memory is not a photograph; it is a plan drawing, redrawn each time it is consulted, until the house that remains is entirely one's own.

II

Pilgrimage · Faith

The Pilgrim's Palette

Walking is the only technique I trust. Days of limestone, dust, shadow at the same hour, and then, without ceremony, a colour that has no business being there. That is where the blue comes from.

III

Nostalgia · Dreams

Nostalgia Is Not Sentiment

Nostalgia has been mistaken for softness. It is closer to an ache in the structure, a load-bearing longing. A painting can carry it if the surface is honest enough to admit weight.

IV

Music · Process

Song as Elevation Drawing

A song and a painting are two elevations of the same building. One describes the façade, the other the section. I have stopped pretending they are separate disciplines.

V

Space · Faith

Seven Dwellings

Teresa of Ávila described the soul as a castle of many rooms, made of a single diamond. I have been working inside that sentence for four years and have reached, at most, the third door.

The writing continues. New rooms are added as they are entered.